When you give, you receive in tenfold.

I know I haven't been updating much. Life has just been one turbulence after another. It shouldn't be a surprise that I'm looking forward to the New Year. I hope things work out better. Scratch that. I know things will be better. (by the power of will as they say)

Anyways, its been a long Christmas this year. Although I wasn't in Ipoh most of the time. However, I found a new feeling for Christmas this year. One that I know I will keep for a long, long, long, long, long, long..........time. *you catch my drift*

It started off with a visit to the Pediatric ward at UUMC Hospital in the middle of December. I never thought that the joy I saw on the faces of the children could make the sun shine seem brighter. But it did. Don't get me wrong, I have done my fair share of charity work in the past. Yet, this just seemed different. I saw the expression of gloom on some of the faces of these children a few minutes before. Suddenly while interacting with them, their faces simply lit up with wonder. Of course it helped that Allie & Tabby, the mascots from the mountain I work for was there. But still, there was this sudden change in them, like soft blush of excitement as they received gifts and hugged the mascots. Heads up to the 2 men who walked around in the suits for 2 hours. By the end of the day, they were barely breathing. Lol.

Then there was this crazily Funky Christmas Party! Which was held on the mountain for nearly 400 less fortunate children. The preparation for the event the night before truly made me feel like one of Santa's Elf's. The hours spent preparing 400 goodie bags and sorting out gifts till the wee hours of the morning and getting barely 2 hours of sleep really was worth it. From putting t-shirts and teddy bears into a bag, to sorting through names and making sure that each child had the gift he/she wished for. We even checked the name list twice! Talking about being true to playing the part of Santa's Little Helper. I'm glad to say that each child walked away that day with the gift they wished for. I on the other hand, walked away with this strong sense of what Christmas is all about. I even had Christmas songs playing through my head the whole week. =) *Santa Baby....lalalalala*

The next day after work, headed back home to spend Christmas with the family. Me and the bro's made plans and came up with crazy gifts for the family. Let me tell you, there was a lot of conspiracy going on. Safe to say that everyone ended up with many awesome gifts and smiles went round the whole house. Especially with the parents. They seemed quite overjoyed and I am glad! *all the stress was worth it* Mum was especially in good moods and Dad was just grinning ear to ear.

The day after Christmas, Dad & the Lions Club decided to visit some Spastic Children and we enjoyed our time with them singing Christmas Carols. They clapped and echoed along as we sang... *even though some were croaking* Lol.


I've learnt some really valuable lessons this Christmas. Lessons I don't ever want to forget. I guess this post will remain to remind of them. Till the next time, I hope you all have/had/will have a Blessed Merry Christmas & an Awesome Fulfilling New Year. It doesn't matter what has/will happen. What matters is that you make the best of it!


*photos to be updated soon*

+= to walk his steps =+

i've learnt to tip toe
much like him
to inhale a breath or two
on those cold nights


those nights 
where your mind just needs to run
i take the same motions as he does
A box, a spark, a puff, a blow


No sound, just breathe
No sound, just the nite
No sound, just the sky
No sound, just my mind and I


Not one of his finer habits
Not one he’d be proud of that I picked up
But yet to walk in the same steps
Feel the same raw emotions


The same attempt for escape, 
but two different directions

+= Thank You =+

Dear you,
Thank you for finding the time to meet up.

Thank you for not blowing your top.
Thank you for taking the effort.
Thank you for being a remedy to the hurt.
Thank you for being so accepting of all that we are.
Thank you for sitting with me while i looked at stars.
Thank you for being here all this while.
Thank you for having your own style.
Thank you for not getting pissed with what I say. 
Even if we 'kutuk' u everyday.
Thank you for sticking up for us.
Thank you for joining in when we curse.
Thank you for offering your shoulder.
Thank you for being bolder.
Thank you for passing me the tissue.
Thank you for not making harping on the issue.
Thank you for twisting my brains a little.
Thank you for making me giggle.
Thank you for the songs you sing.
Thank you for the joy you bring.
Thank you for being so quiet.
Thank you for staying up though your tired.
Thank you for offering me somewhere i can run to.
Thank you for just being you.
Look how fast time has flown.
Look at how much we’ve all grown.
Maybe we’re older.
Maybe we’re not much wiser.
The travel may have been a little tough.
In time we may get busy with our own stuff.
But I know one thing for sure.
It’ll take years to find friendship like ours so pure. 

Special Dedication to  all you lovable people in my world. 

+= Hope =+

She's back at that place again. 

Watching broken people. 

Who in turn watch their own broken dreams float by.

Who live their broken lives.

Daily trying to mend their broken hearts.

She sits and watches. Helpless.

As the world quakes.

As empires falls.

As lives crumble around her.

Shards barely missing her.

Her skin filled with scrapes and cuts.

She moves but a muscles.

Just sit and wait.

Hold your ground.

Their lives do not destine yours.

Its getting harder to hold on.

Hope has become but a glimmer.

Yet it still burns. 

Even with the smallest spark.

And that is all that matters. 

+= Tears Of A Clown =+

I sat today and I cried.

Overwhelmed by a million and one situations.

Lost and confined to my little corner. 

Not knowing where to turn.

I once had arms to hold me.

Rocking my quivering frame.

As I broke down and leaned.

Those arms are now long gone.

No longer recognizable and no longer in existence.

My shoulders are my own strength.

My sleeves are my tissue to dry these tears.

My own spine is what I lean on when breaking.

Too alone for my own good.

Too strong for my own will.

Too independent for my own sanity.

Too ignorant to my own pain.

Thoughts and pain gets brushed off easy.

Like water to the back of a duck.

Only there for a moment before I move on.

Scratches and bruises covered with plaster.

Left to fester and sore.

Ignored and left to scare.

Thick is my skin.

No one shall know whats left deep within.

=+ His Grey Eyes +=

I promised myself not to think of you, not to want to see you, not to want to feel you.You have become a habit.

I don't like it...but you have become a habit.
I can't help it....that you are now a habit.
I guess it is my habit, to want things that are out of reach.
Now to deviate my habit.

It is not easy. The days seem longer, time passes slower and tasks just take forever. Without a distraction.

She couldn't seem to focus. Couldn't get sidetracked either. Her thoughts kept rushing back to him. When they were in the same room, his essence seemed to fill the air. His presence no matter how insignificant, made the whole room spin. It felt like the whole world was swept away and all that was left, was them.

Yet, he seemed out of bounds. His being totally encased by a glass, a shield. Impenetrable. Untouchable. 

She longed for the days when they seemed to belong. Why hadn't she taken that leap of faith? Maybe he had felt the same way. Now, things seemed so indifferent. She couldn't tell whether he was still the same person. She didn't know whether she was wither.

She tried hiding in her nook. Tried to pull herself together. She masked herself again, like when she used to before he made imprints. Before his smile touched her being. Before his pouts and frowns drew worry upon her brows.

Time keeps moving. But she, is at a stand still. Unable to flow along. Unable to catch the rhythm.

She just wants to be where they had been. Maybe a lil' more. Perhaps his strong arms could hold her. Perhaps his cuddles could piece her together again. His breath could guide her to breathe again. Perhaps his humour could make her truly laugh again and maybe, just maybe, his love could make her whole again.

She can't take it anymore, thoughts of him cloud her all day. She wishes she could tell him, but afraid it would scare him away. Fear, that things would never fall into place. Dreading, to look at him and see another face.She tries to stay away. Cause he clams up every time she takes a step forward. She's drawn to him. Like a moth to fire, her instinct won't let her move away.

There's more to you than meets the eyes.
I want to look into those mysterious orbs.
To see their hidden treasures.
To find the reason why they change a slight gray.
To make maya come true.
Or just to know of the sensations it holds, just for a while.

One Month Of Absence..

Its been over a month since I've had the time to sit down and actually breathe...
It feels like I've just been on the move constantly and I haven't had the time to be myself anymore.Could be a good thing, but on the other hand, could lead me somewhere I don't want to go.

Its come to a point where I may have just lost myself while on my journey to discovery. 
I'm finding it hard, but I'm still trying to remain ME as much as possible.

 August has brought DRAMA, farewells and fears.Hopefully next month will be a lil' calmer. 
Even so, it has also brought some REVELATIONS, good times and opportunities.

Now to list out everything in a Nutshell!
Done :
1. Interviewed Chef Robert Rainford (License To Grill) *extremely honoured*
2. Went through the Ghost House and Ripley's Believe It Or Not Museum at the First World Plaza.
3. Hosted a dinner for the Global Model United Nations Conference (got paid) *extremely lucky*
Amazed :
1. Friends who once strayed put away their differences to start over again.
2. Got approached to be 'Mistress of Ceremonies'
3. Social Media is such HUGE 'in-thing' right now. Use it wisely.
4. Caught up with friends!!!
Learnt :
1. BIG Multi-National Corporations can have small minded people in them
2. Some people never grow out of high school drama, even after many years of leaving the school gates.
3. People can be confusing. Sometimes its best not to even try to read into ANYTHING at all.
4. People, especially IN the 'system' are not organized even if they should be. *Never Have Expectations*